What would you like to share with Nina?

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(In memory of Nina Van Gorkom. Excerpt from the Dhamma discussion with Ajahn Sujin on Zoom on Sat 6th Jan 2024.)

00:00 - The truth, about this moment: gone
[A. Sujin] She would be happy as we would have happy time talking about the understanding of dhammas and sharing with her now, she would be so very happy too, as we are now. As we are now! Appreciating her kusala deeds and understanding that they will bring their result, no matter when its proper time [comes], now or then. So the best thing in life is to understand the truth, happily, joyfully, it's the truth, about this moment: gone. So, is there anything we would share with Nina if she was with us now here, talking about Dhamma?

[Jonothan] She liked hearing about the reality of the present moment.

01:02 - Understanding the truth is the best of all conditions
[A. Sujin] So very subtle, no matter on what point… even that which conditions the letting go of the idea of self and taking [it] for this or that or something or someone. In truth, what is there it's just so very short, conditioned, arising and falling away, unknowingly, taking it for something or someone so very important, but in truth, all are gone, never to arise again, but the conditions are accumulated from moment to moment, understanding the truth is the best of all. And the truth is right there now to be known gradually, little by little, to understand how subtle it is, otherwise, without understanding the depths or the subtlety, the profoundness of the Teachings of the Buddha, nothing can let go of the very, very strong attachment to that, accumulated for eons and eons as some-thing and some-one, that's why just learn to understand the truth.

02:17 - Thinking a little more about what is there when it's there
And when the understanding is there, a little more, a little more, it can be known in daily life, gradually, thinking a little more about what is there at the moment when it's there in life, natural life, daily life, it's a proof of understanding. To let go... or to cling or wanting to understand it: so very subtle attachment. That's why only understanding the subtle reality, as it's so subtle that it does not appear as it is right now, until time comes, understanding that it's beyond expectation, only a moment of understanding... a moment, a moment, just a moment, developing as it is, so very gradual, unknowingly, but it's there, accumulated, no one can change the way it is at all.

So it's now how much understanding can be known of what is there, no expectation, gradually, little by little, talking about seeing right now, otherwise, there's no thinking about it at all. Just forgetting what is there in life, forgetting about the truth of that which is now appearing, until... don't you forget everything? What's the answer? Forgetting that it's just a reality, so very impermanent, so very short, no matter what is there, gone, but it does not show up as it is, only right understanding can penetrate the truth with firm and firmer understanding about the truth that: it's not there anymore.

04:14 - Understanding the difference between the moment of seeing and hearing and what's in between
It's just that which appears and disappears, not known in the beginning, but right understanding develops on and on, to get acquainted with different realities, one by one. So that there can be attention to just a characteristic of what is there, little by little, so that it can understand the difference between the moment of seeing and hearing and what's in between. It can be right understanding or attachment or other moments, unknown, until it's known: what is there in life, so many, many different things in a day, but it can be known a little more, about just one reality at a time, no selection, no choice, by conditions, unexpectedly. That is the understanding and firm understanding of anatta, little by little, to let go the idea of something or someone. There can be a little more understanding of that which is there, little by little, but it has to be very firm understanding of the truth, to let go of the idea, of just thinking about it, but not experiencing it yet because it's not the proper time: not enough understanding. And that is the way it is, patience is there, otherwise, no attention to anything as it is right now, and this is the way it develops, is it true?

[Jonothan] That's true, Ajahn, as you say, that there can be a little more understanding of what is there now, and it is always little by little, in fact, it can be so little that it's imperceptible.

06:25 - No one can think about the truth by oneself
[A. Sujin] No one can think about the truth by oneself, but the words of the Buddha in the book can be considered a little more, even just one word, anatta. It's not difficult to understand the meaning, but the truth is so very subtle, and this is why read again about this and that and consider a little more, even just one word about the truth, and that's the way it can understand deeper and deeper about the truth, as conditions to let go of ignorance and attachment and wanting something secretly, unknowingly... until right understanding is there, beginning to understand the truth little by little, so very little, but that is the way it develops, to let go of the accumulation of ignorance, attachment and all kinds of akusala, accumulated for eons and eons to condition what is there in daily life, even this moment and other moments later.

07:36 - Daily life can be the test for understanding
That's why daily life can be the test for understanding, even intellectual understanding, about the danger of akusala, it doesn't come as: it's time to think about it, but the way it's conditioned shows up the way it is gradually developed, not to cling so much to whatever is there, because actually it is akusala, it is that which has to be gradually eliminated, otherwise the truth cannot be known because it's there hindering instantly with ignorance and attachment. That's why just understand more and more the way it is, so very subtle, to understand that: the development of understanding has to be so very subtle as well, the same way of the accumulation of moment to moment, kusala or akusala.

08:40 - Constructing the understanding of the truth of whatever is there
So understanding, more than just intellectual understanding, can condition moments of understanding the khanti and the viriya, by conditions, to develop further on. Not just only intellectual understanding about what is there arising and falling away, that's intellectual understanding, but what is there which arises and falls away has to be understood and attended more than just the word. For example, the reality which experiences the object, if one tries so hard to know it, is wrong, but from understanding this and that, little by little, here and there, it constructs the understanding of the truth of whatever is there, no selection at all.

09:33 - The danger of akusala: it hinders the understanding of the truth
For example, at moment of anger, can it be known? Or just trying not to have it? What is right and what is wrong? More careful considering about the way to have no more attachment and ignorance, it has to be understanding the truth only, that's the way to have confidence of the truth, of each reality, and what about moment of being so happy, attached to the object unknowingly, is it not dangerous? Or is it dangerous? How dangerous it is: it hinders the understanding of the truth.

10:17 - It is just as it is, so "it" is it: no one
But when there's a little more understanding, it can condition the understanding of that moment, even at moment of just thinking: it is just as it is, so "it" is it: no one. Little by little, the way it is, so natural. So, all depends on understanding, intellectually, directly, and experiencing the truth little by little: not as it is, but the truth is hidden all the time until it appears little by little as it is, one characteristic at a time. For example, seeing right now and hearing right now, there is only the understanding that: it's that which experiences the object and they cannot arise together, but now they do not appear as they are, different moments, but they appear like it's just there: hearing and seeing, thinking and seeing, liking and seeing, seeing all day, what is the truth? That's why just learn to understand, a little more, more and more, to let go of ignorance and attachment because of no understanding, even intellectually.

11:50 - Accumulation: it can condition such reality to arise at such level
That's why understanding the truth, even just the first word we have heard, dhamma, we don‘t have to say that it's dhamma: it's real, it's there, it's different by conditions, not known before. To begin to understand that what is there has to be by conditions, the accumulation: so strong that it can condition such reality to arise at such level, but be true to the truth, the truth is that what is there arises and falls away. Be true to the truth, to understand the truth, and then to begin to attend to the characteristic which is that which experiences, no need to say that it's that which experiences, but it's the way to begin to attend to the truth of the characteristic of that which is there, just arising to experience by different conditions, different characteristics, different functions.

13:06 - Trying to have something to be known when it's not there yet
So, what is there is to be known, stage by stage, little by little, to hear more, to consider more, otherwise, how can there be the understanding of the truth, by different aspects, when it's there as ayatana or as arammana or what... All are conditions to let go of the clinging and ignorance of that which is now appearing, so very gradual, from life to life, on and on, without conditions, how can it arise? Without a little more understanding, more truthfulness, how can it appear as it is? To the firm confidence of the truth, and understanding that what can be known is that which is already there, not that we try to have something to be known when it's not there yet.