Life is this moment

Lukas: My question to Tan Ajahn is my lack of motivation or interest in understanding Dhamma even though sometimes I feel I do have some interest in some part of Tipitaka or even a bit of interest to study Dhamma from time to time but my life is really not good, all these addictions and everything I'm trying to get rid of and I'm now I'm trying to stay on a good path and don't go somewhere astray. So as I said in I think now like even the interest in my case is not enough and I feel like I need to put a lot of effort to really understand Dhamma now. I don't feel it's spontaneous for me and that's my question, what would you advise about the effort to really understand Dhamma, thank you.

A. Sujin: You study Dhamma, to understand what? Are you learning to understand what is there now?

Lukas: As you as you always say to us there must be something.

A. Sujin: So when there's no understanding of something there, can that bring about more understanding of what you call Dhamma?

Lukas: I think may be, if we consider intellectually, because Buddha said that, and we still don't yet know, but that's the only way.

A. Sujin: So what would you like to understand now?

Lukas: Maybe it's not what I would like to understand, I want to change my life from bad to good, from dark to light.

A. Sujin: So what is life? Is seeing life? Is hearing life? Is there understanding of the actual seeing?

Lukas: No there isn't.

A. Sujin: That's why that's not the way to listen to Dhamma, to understand that which is now appearing, unknown. That's why by hearing more about it, there will be more understanding of what you take for life. You just want to understand life, but life is this moment of seeing, moment of thinking, moment of understanding or moment of ignorance. Each one is life, jivitindriya cetasika is there all the time with each citta.

So citta is different from that which cannot experience anything because of that certain cetasika, jivitindriya cetasika. No one there at all. Without jivitindriya cetasika can there be citta?

Lukas: Well, probably not because everything is conditioned as the Buddha taught us, so they cannot exist separately, the dhammas need to be together, always.

A. Sujin: This is the way to understand Dhamma, or this is the way to understand life, by understanding from the very beginning what life is.

Lukas: I think I trust the Buddha, what the Buddha said, I trust what you said, so I think yes that's true, but my problems are like to overtaking me and my thinking, so I can't really... I don't know... studying Dhamma is very hard.

A. Sujin: The word or the moment now? This moment is Abhidhamma, right? No one, when it's Abhidhamma it cannot be taken for anything at all. But no understanding of the truth, the absolute truth of that which is conditioned to arise, just to arise, and then it falls away.

Lukas: I lack motivation, I need more effort to better understand.

A. Sujin: Does effort belong to anyone? 

Lukas: No it doesn't, it's non-self as the Buddha said, even though wrong view is taking it for us, but it's not really, that's what I've heard.

A. Sujin: Can it be the wrong effort, not the right effort?

Lukas: Of course, it can be wrong and right effort, either, and mostly it's wrong effort I would say.

A. Sujin: So how can there be right effort?

Lukas: But at least it's some effort, then even there is more effort it can be more wrong effort, but there is a chance that right also comes from wrong.

Ajahn: No one can stop effort to arise at all, but what about the right effort? It is different from wrong effort, so what is the difference between the two?

Lukas: I don't really know that.

A. Sujin: Wrong effort arise with no understanding. "I try", right or wrong effort?

Lukas: I would say if that's with the idea of I and me then it's a wrong effort, Ajahn.

A. Sujin: Yes, and can there be right effort?

Lukas: Of course it can be right, only with right understanding.

A. Sujin: Yes, by conditions, otherwise it cannot be right effort at all.

Lukas: But by what conditions, that's also the question.

A. Sujin: By understanding what's right and what's wrong as no one there. No one can stop the arising of effort at all, whatever arises is by conditions, its proper conditions to just be there, only very shortly and then gone completely, never to return. So actually can anyone try and can anyone make effort, right effort or wrong effort to arise?

Lukas: No one can do it.

A. Sujin: That is the beginning, but not firm understanding yet, but actually there are different realities, no-I no-self at all, only different realities. This is why we learn about the Teachings of the Buddha one word at a time, to understand clearly that there is effort for sure, but no one can condition effort to arise and with ignorance it's wrong effort, when there is understanding, it begins to be right effort, little by little. And it is viriya parami and khanti parami when it's right effort, with pañña only. When there is no pañña, no matter it's effort which is wholesome but it cannot be parami because it doesn't lead to more and more understanding the truth right now. That's why there can be a little more understanding about no-self at all.

Right now no-self. It's not just the word but it's the truth of whatever appears now, no one can make it arise, without conditions nothing can arise at all. All depends on conditions to be just that, at that degree.

Is there effort now? As long as it does not appear as object of understanding there must be the idea of my-effort all the time, which is wrong. That's why one begins to understand what's meant by wrong and right realities. Right vitakka, wrong vitakka. Right vicara, wrong vicara. No one can make it arise.

Lukas: Maybe I supposed to put more effort, not good, but I don't know maybe the interest is not enough only in my case.

A. Sujin: Nobody knows, only pañña knows.

Lukas: Sometimes it's all right but sometimes I have doubts.

A. Sujin: As long as it does not appear as object of understanding there cannot be the understanding of the truth of no self at all, only different realities. Even pañña is nobody, it doesn't belong to anyone at all. It arises and it performs its function as to understand. Right understanding is different from wrong understanding. So hearing about the truth of realities now can bring about the understanding of whether it's right or wrong understanding and when it's wrong pañña knows that it's wrong. So it does not condition the wrong speech or the wrong deed because it knows what's right and what's wrong. In a day all are dhammas, different ones, by conditions.