That which hasn't been before

A. Sujin: Is there you now?

Lukas: Yes

A. Sujin: See, not enough considering. What is you, if there is you.

Lukas: It's true what you're saying, not enough considering, and I think maybe I'm supposed to study Dhamma more, I bet it would help, at least I believe it will help, if I put... I study Dhamma more.

A. Sujin: Okay, just one question, is there I?

Lukas: No, Ajahn... Yes, but not in reality, not in truth.

A. Sujin: Okay, and everything is not I, not thing, not anything, only a reality, right? Until it appears as it is, from understanding little by little, letting go the idea of self little by little, until understanding is strong enough to experience the truth which only appears to the pañña of that degree.

We are talking about no self now but it's not pañña of that degree which can experience directly what is there now as it is, as not self but more understanding lets go the idea of self little by little, by conditions. Without understanding, how can there be the moment of understanding the truth of this moment as: it's conditioned to arise just to be that. Who can make such degree of lobha and dosa arise, by other conditions? It has to be the proper one, to condition such level of whatever it is.

When there is more and more ignorance about that which appears, can there be moment of understanding directly that it's not self, it's not anything at all? Impossible, because the accumulation of wrong understanding is there, strong enough to condition the moment of taking it for something all the time, right now. This moment is the proof of understanding or misunderstanding what is there. So it's the development of pañña among such a great number of ignorance following seeing, hearing, whatever is experienced.

That's why without strong clear comprehension, understanding of the truth, it's impossible to experience directly the truth of it right now as that which is conditioned, arising just very shortly and then no more, anatta, suññata. Each moment is like this, unknown. Until hearing the Teachings and considering carefully, wisely, to be what is the truth and what is not the truth. So what is true now?

Lukas: There is there is a moment now.

A. Sujin: Okay, what is that moment?

Lukas: I know this is something, as you always say there must be something, nothing and something again, but there is no understanding of it.

A. Sujin: So no understanding of this moment and next moment no understanding of that moment, on and on, until hearing the truth, consider it carefully, wisely, to know what's true and what is not true.

Lukas: Sounds like I need more patience, that I miss, patience.

A. Sujin: If that patience is not you, no one can condition it to arise, no one can make it, no one can force it to be there, to arise. But the truth is that it's conditioned by ignorance or by understanding, to arise to be such wrong or right viriya. If someone tries very hard to understand this moment as not self, right or wrong?

Lukas: That's supposed to be wrong, miccha patipada.

A. Sujin: And when there is such understanding, one will not try to understand what is there but to hear more, consider more, to understand more and more, until the truth of it can appear. Because the truth is there, not different from as it is, but it does not appear as it is because of ignorance. But from understanding: nothing is permanent at all, this moment is gone and that is not clearly known yet as it is, but that is the way to have that arise to understand it, much more than just now, from hearing considering and letting go the idea of "I'll try". Because actually whatever is there now, there is no I. Even viriya itself is viriya. Each cetasika is conditioned by its proper conditions. What is there now which is not conditioned to be such?

Lukas: All this condition, even there is no understanding, we've heard from the Buddha that all is conditioned.

A. Sujin: Even just a moment of understanding the truth is better than many moments of misunderstanding it from one's own thoughts or from any other's words which are not the words of the Buddha. Do you know Buddha now?

Lukas: Not now, but sometimes. I trust Buddha and Dhamma and Sangha. So, a bit, yes, sometimes, but not now.

A. Sujin: You know Buddha as what?

Lukas: Buddha is like a quality of the Buddha, like wisdom and the knowledge about kamma and so on.

A. Sujin: If there is no understanding of his words at all, can you know the Buddha?

Lukas: No, not at all, only by his Teaching we will see the Buddha.

A. Sujin: So what did he say about reality right now? Do you remember what did he say about that?

Lukas: Yes he said that whatever arises it has to fall away, and that all is anatta.

A. Sujin: And why did he teach for 45 years?

Lukas: For people to understand the Dhamma, so they can consider, so that's quite clear to me.

A. Sujin: Keep on learning studying, for pañña to develop, little by little, as no-I, no-self, no-thing, nothing is permanent, whatever arises falls away instantly, never to be found again, no matter where and when. That is so true, that's the meaning of no self, no one, because nothing is permanent and cannot be the same. That which has fallen away cannot arise again at all, never to be the same: previous moments and now, different ones, different realities. Seeing now it's not seeing a moment ago, thinking now is not thinking a moment ago, where are they? Nowhere to be found, absolutely gone. So that cannot be taken for anything permanent at all, whatever arises falls away, no matter one understands it or not, as it is. So just learn the Teachings about reality right now, just one reality at a time, to understand better and better that it cannot be taken for I or anything permanent at all, only just a moment conditioned to arise and then falls away. Aniccam, dukkham, anatta, and all dhammas are anatta, no one no thing, nothing can be controlled. Right now, while we are talking there's seeing all the time, which is not thinking, which is not hearing. What conditions such moment of experiencing what is there which is seen, by conditions only. And that can be directly experienced, this is a miracle of the Teachings of the Buddha: that which hasn't been before can be there by conditions.

Lukas: That's true.

So each moment of understanding it's the moment of letting go. From ignorance, to be understanding, better and better, about no-one-no-self, the way it is, arising and falling away by conditions. Can you change that? Can you change the way it is?

Lukas: No, of course not. I wish I could but it's impossible, I've been trying all life to change dhammas but it's impossible.

A. Sujin: Why do you want to change, if you want to change?

Lukas: No it's impossible to change.

A. Sujin: That's right understanding. Just understand, instead of trying to understand.