How close the truth is, here and now, in a moment

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[A. Sujin] I think that each word of truth about reality right now should be understood clearer and clearer, otherwise it [would] seem like there is enough understanding of it, but in truth not enough, never enough at all as long as there is no understanding of: just one reality by conditions, at moment when it's there.

For example right now, why do [we] begin again and again? Begin again to talk about seeing because seeing is there almost all the time, or we can say like many people would say, that there's seeing all the time because we don't talk in details about each moment and because seeing is there, it seems like it doesn't go away at all. That's why, what is the truth? Clearer than that, otherwise there cannot be different stages of understanding, hearing any word, not just following it, not just no interest in it, but what is the truth and how much truth it is, to have more confidence of the truth that the truth is the truth, that is sacca parami.

So even the word parami should be understood, why is parami and what's the meaning of parami? Not just trying to have parami, but to understand the truth of whatever is there because in truth what is there now appearing? It's so very short, consider that, otherwise it seems like [that] it can be taken for something permanent or staying long like I or flower or desk or table or spoon, but it's not like that at all. Just beginning to understand: it's not like that at all, that it seems like it's there all the time even when it does not appear, but there is the idea that it's still there. So the world is the world of ignorance, so dark that the truth cannot be directly experienced, but we can hear about it and what about the understanding? Firmer and firmer or just not at all?

But when Marc spoke, he talked very honestly about his understanding and his ideas, no matter what we've heard about dhamma, it's a reality, it cannot be taken for anything because it stays there very very shortly: as soon as it has arisen it falls away. Is that true? It's impossible to let go of the idea of self permanently [when one's] just beginning to understand the truth, but the truth does not appear even it's heard about, but it appears as if it's still [there], exactly the same as before we heard the words of Dhamma.

That's why the confidence of the truth has to be developed at moment of understanding, whether it's true or not, being truthful to the truth, otherwise it is not sacca parami, the word parami comes in, why understanding the truth is parami? Because the truth can be directly experienced, until it can let go of the idea of self permanently, absolutely, never to arise again at all.

That's why even just the word of truth, but which we've heard from the beginning just one or two times, it can be more, to have more confidence of the truth. Otherwise the truth is that, but I believe that and I think like that, but what is right and what is wrong? To be truthful, sacca parami, otherwise there cannot be moment of letting go of the clinging to what is there, little by little, in life, normal life, natural life. Because what is now so natural is so true because it's there by conditions, nobody can change [it], why? They're gone, everything's gone before anyone can do anything, or before there can be anything to be done with it.

Just hearing, considering, having more confidence and that's why the Buddha taught for 45 years because just for one day or two days it's not enough to let go of wrong understanding that has been accumulated [for] a long, long time, up to now, this moment, the moments up to now. That's why right understanding struggles along while there are moments of akusala there, coming time to time.

That's why it has to be parami, to develop right understanding to experience the truth because it's there, the truth is that it arises and falls away, as the truth is there, [for] right understanding. If it's not this moment, what [other] moment could directly known the truth of what is there? It has to be what is there now, no matter it is great joy, very pleasant feelings, no matter what, right understanding can experience the truth when there are enough conditions for now, honestly, everyone knows that understanding is not enough but what about thinking over it again and again, whether it's true or not, this moment, before it arises it's not there, but when it's there it has to be conditioned to arise to be only such reality, nobody can change the way it is at all.

Just having understanding of the truth it's the moment of Dhamma, right understanding and kusala moments support to have more confidence of the truth and not forgetting about the truth. When one is asked: what is meant by forgetfulness? It's moment of akusala. That's why parami is not moment of akusala, but kusala moment is more difficult to arise because of the accumulation of akusala is so strong. That's why even just a moment of kusala is so very worthwhile because it can be condition for other moments to arise again and again and again.

That's why it needs parami too, being patient not to go wrong, so to be truthful from the very beginning to just one word, dhamma, what is meant? A reality, can it be two in one moment? Like, can kusala and akusala arise together or be the same? Impossible, just only one, conditioned by many many conditions, to be known as it cannot be taken for: anyone can do, or whether there is anyone who "do" at all. That's why being truthful is parami, to be truthful to the truth: this moment is gone, right or wrong? Seeing is not hearing, they cannot arise together, they have to arise at different moments.

All in life, even there are so many many conditioned realities, what is known is only what is there appearing through six doorways only, we talk about pañca-dvara-avajjana, sampaticchana, santirana, they do not appear. So what appears is the object of six doorways. And the experiences of six doorways with the cetasikas as different conditions to condition just a moment of that moment and never arise again when it's gone.

Just have confidence, to condition moment of beginning not to forget in life, even just thinking about it: it's only hardness. It can be any moment, just not many moments, but it's enough in the beginning to understand the anattaness of whatever is there and the understanding of anattaness itself lets go of the idea of something like my hand or soap or whatever because it just appears as hardness, that's all.

So there can be the understanding of different realities at different times, little by little, in daily life, the most important thing is in daily life because that is the way it is, conditioned to be kusala or akusala, different moments with different kinds of realities, cetasikas and so on.

So very natural but it's different from moments without understanding and that is the firm confidence of the path, it has to be by conditions. So whatever arises from morning up to now, by conditions and conditions condition the other moment on and on and on.

Since there is the idea of I, what is I after death, where is it? And what is meant by death and what is meant by birth? The reality can be known by the enlightenment of the Buddha and we've heard the word about the truth of what is there and whether it's the understanding that it can be studied, it can be known, it can be realized, it's condition for more understanding or thinking about it, sometimes, by conditions, and that is the way of parami.

So parami is not just the word, it's the reality, right understanding, enrooted, so that it can condition different ways of kusala, to be done. Because it understands what is right and what is wrong and no matter what, it's not anyone at all because kusala conditions the result as kusala vipaka and akusala conditions akusala vipaka, no one there at all. Right understanding will let go of regret or any akusala at any time.

Without paramis, can there be the enlightenment of the truth which is now hidden in darkness, covering everything. Just like a dream, never to arise again. So understanding is the best of sankhara dhammas because it can understand the truth of what is there now.

I'm hearing, I'm thinking... even we don't use the word, we don't speak it out, it's there, so it's not just the word that I think that [there] is I, but even not speaking anything about that the I is there, underlined: asavas, anusayas conditioning what is there life and then never to arise again.

Better to understand the truth because it's here and now, so very close, so close, in a moment... how close it is!