Khanti, the patience to understand that which is very deep and difficult

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(Excerpt from the Dhamma discussion with Ajahn Sujin on Zoom on Sat Oct 15th 2022. Suitable for beginners.

[Maeve] Ajahn, may I ask a question about effort, guarding against unwholesome thoughts, abandoning them, developing and maintaining wholesome thoughts and the idea of someone who does that, who does the abandoning, who does the guarding etc.

[A. Sujin] The idea of self? Apply[ing] or understand[ing] what is the nature of effort: is it real, is it there? For example we understand the reality, the cetasika which is viriya, by word: viriya is such and such, but at what moment is there? At moment of akusala is there viriya or effort? Or, at moment of kusala is there viriya? Or, at moment of thinking is there viriya? And so on. To understand it more, what is meant by viriya: very very little, very very weak, until it's so strong, sharp enough, because of right understanding, to understand that: effort for what? To understand the truth or effort to try to know it, to experience it as "I know"?

That's why they have to consider carefully: viriya is a moment of doing something, right? Even [when] moving one's hand is there viriya or no viriya? Just to move! So, what about doing something more difficult than that? Not enough just for a day or month or a year. Viriya is there for that very very difficult goal to [be] reached or to [be] approached.

That's why beginning to understand no-self, so when it's no-self/not-self what is it? It is a reality. That's why the Buddha taught about 52 kinds of cetasikas, mental factors, to understand each one as: it's so very very difficult to realize the truth that it's there. And in daily life, when one's trying to do something, is it not the time to understand viriya? And when it's understanding the nature of what it there, it has to be more viriya, to be khanti, to be patient to understand that which is very difficult or very deep.

That's why there are many words for viriya which accompanies many stages of citta, akusala or kusala of what degree or with right understanding. That's why now, at this moment is there viriya? [While] thinking about what is meant by each word of truth, is it viriya?

And no matter one is sick or [in an] unpleasant or difficult situation, right understanding can arise because it has developed to understand that any situation is not self. So even at the moment of not getting angry at all, at every moment, without patience or viriya or khanti, can it arise? To be so patient as not to do ill-deeds, not to have anger and not to cling. It's so nice, so beautiful, as soon as it's heard... very beautiful music, it's there already. So, even to understand that, doesn't it need viriya?

It's there without words, but without words how can there be the understanding of each one, of each reality? That's why there's the word for viriya, for khanti and so on, as parami, arising with right understanding, understanding the way it is, as no one at all, but by conditions. So conditions for understanding the truth need great viriya, not just to understand the word, the meaning of it, but to understand the nature of that which is there to be known.

No one can change what is there, to be different from the way it is, little by little, the understanding of the Teachings of: actually they're all different realities, conditioned by different conditions, many many conditions: past conditions, present conditions and so on. It's viriya, to understand [that] it's so difficult to let go of ignorance because it's there from eons and eons ago. Not understanding what? Seeing right now, hearing right now, thinking right now, and doubt right now, see, everything that is not known as it is. It's there and gone, no one can stop its falling away or its arising at all.

It is viriya to understand the truth, to be truthful to the truth. That's why it is parami, without all these paramis it's impossible to understand seeing as it has been experienced by the Enlightened One, the Buddha himself. That, what is it? It's just a reality, no shape, no form at all, it's there, experiencing.

And when it does not experience the object which appears, but it begins to understand the quality, the reality which is there, experiencing. It's time to understand that there is a reality which arises and experiences, no matter what we call it or use any word, but no one can change the characteristic of that which has no shape and form, so it is different from that which is seen: the seeing arises and experiences.

And hearing about this only once, twice is not enough: again and again and again, until it conditions moment of thinking about it. Hardness is there in a day, are there conditions to understand it or no attending, attention to it at all? And it's different from moment when it's hard as normal, as usual in daily life, but it is object of thinking about it, minding it, attending to that characteristic which has to be known as: no one there, not my hand, not the soap or anything at all: it's just only that. And when there is more hearing, more considering, more understanding, even it's there now it's not there anymore. There can be a little progress in understanding the truth, little by little.

That's why it takes quite a long time to be truthful to the truth of no one there at all, and the understanding of no self will condition the understanding of what is taught in Tipitaka, no matter what is that, it's about reality, no matter it's kindness or whatever, it's there, in a day, but in a day, when there is no understanding, the idea of self is so strong, it's there.

So, that's why the intellectual understanding will lead to the moment of not forgetting the truth of that which appears, we don't know when, by conditions. How long? No one knows, by conditions. So whatever appears, even it's so strange, so wonderful, very very different kinds of pleasant feeling, only that. What about the understanding?

When there's not enough understanding, it's object of doubt: what is that that? That's why right right understanding understands the truth that right understanding is not sharp enough to understand that it's just a reality, no word, to try putting it in words: what is it? Because some people, whatever appears, instantly think about the term that is used, for what is what in daily life, but when that appears... beyond thinking what is the word used to represent it because no word to think about because the reality appears as it is, strong or week depending, on conditions. Not trying to find out whether it's viriya or whether it's khanti or whether it's what[ever] word we have heard because the reality, the characteristic of that reality, appears well, little by little. That's why pañña has so many degrees of understanding the truth, more direct.

For now, hardness appears and there can be the moment of thinking about hardness. Is that [the] direct awareness of satipatthana? Impossible when there's no understanding. It's just not understanding of that, even it's there. And when there is the understanding of what has been heard about it, depending on conditions, depending on degrees of understanding, how much understanding of that object, by conditions. "By conditions" is that which lets go of the idea of self, no matter what degree is there, strong or week. Even the pañña which is not sharp enough to let go, to really understand that it's just a reality, not me, no matter it's feeling or sañña or sankhara or viññana, no matter what, depending on right understanding of that degree, no cheating at all, so true.

That's why pañña knows how much it has to develop until the object appears clearly, well because it's not just [like] right now when all realities appears like they are together, whatever is seen now: not only one reality, not only one thing, so many things! How come? Without a moment, so very rapidly arising and falling away. And this kind of understanding the truth let go, not I at all, not thinking about, waiting for the result to come, no, not at all, all depends on conditions.

So life is easy with understanding, no trouble to try to do this and that in order to understand it. It has to be the understanding of the truth of it from the Teachings of the Buddha, the Enlightened One. And this is the subtle path, very very subtle, who knows that now even a moment of understanding the truth is the path. There must be some samma-sati arising with pañña, no matter of what level, developing little by little, naturally. Naturally, not "I" who tries so much to sit, to stand or to think or to wait or to concentrate.

No matter it's viriya, and there can be khanti, no matter in what situation, at moment of being sick, also [at moment of] pleasant feeling or any kind of thinking in a day, by conditions. Otherwise how could there be the understanding of the accumulation of what now is conditioned to be this moment?

[Maeve] It seems that understanding in the beginning is quite indirect...

[A. Sujin] It's direct when there is the understanding of the truth.

[Maeve] When there is the subtle trying it seems to become clearer that isn't possible.

[A. Sujin] And that is silabbata-paramasa, when it goes wrong, trying, even having any will to concentrate or to understand this or that in particular.