No-I who thinks I'll-do-that

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(Excerpt from the EN-VN Dhamma discussion with Ajahn Sujin on Zoom on Sun Oct 9th and 16th 2022.)

[Giao] Ajahn always said that our understanding is the not enough, so I think I can improve my understanding by reading from the suttas, from the books...

[A. Sujin] Does the book say anything about now or not at all?

[Giao] The Buddha always talked about what appears at this moment.

[A. Sujin] So, the word is for sañña to remember is what is there now, it's so real, it's true, so it's the truth and what is the truth of what is there, for example, just where is vitakka? Is it far away or it's so close, very close... the innmermost, the citta, and vitakka is there with the citta... where and when the reality is, no matter what it is. There are different realities, some are rupas and some are namas, and citta and cetasikas are namas, but citta is the chief of experiencing and vitakka arises with citta and some cetasikas do not arise with the moment of citta, now. That's why citta is the innermost, in Pali it is hadaya, it's there so very close, nothing is as close as citta, and cetasikas are there together, so it's not far away from here and now.

Without the words of truth from the Buddha who'd know that what was there [just] now is not there anymore? So, what is the truth of what is there appearing? It appears when it's there arising and it's no more when it's gone, never to arise again and this is the truth of no-thing and no-one, so close. Even it's so close it's not known as it is, that's why the path to understand it is so very subtle too because what is there is so subtle, it's there so close but it's not known, but there can be the moment of understanding it, little by little, when there is the moment of hearing the truth about it.

And the truth of what is there now is that it's not there anymore. There can be the understanding of what is there little by little, to understand the truth that actually what arises falls away instantly, no-one and no-thing at all. This is the beginning to hear the Teachings, to listen carefully, to understand the meaning of the truth.

At the moment you think that I'll-do-that, is that right? How can there be more understanding of no-I who thinks that? No matter what we are thinking about, is it moment of understanding what is that: thinking, I-think or what? So, I-can-do, what is that which can do? What is thinking now, is it I-think or what?

[Giao] Just dhammas think, not me.

[A. Sujin] And isn't that the answer to your question? When there is the understanding of dhammas, as we use the word dhammas, there is no doubt about what is there, thinking, trying to do something or whatever is there, no matter what is there: in a moment. The understanding at level of intellectual understanding has to be very firm, otherwise there's no moment for understanding the truth, when it is now.

If we don't talk about what is there now, it has to be forgotten, all the time. How can it develop to the degree that it can understand the truth of what is there now? It doesn't matter how much we talk about it as long as it's not the object of considering, to understand the truth, it needs more and more hearing about it, otherwise what is there in a moment is always forgotten, forgetting to understand it when it's there, trying and trying to understand that which is not there.

For example, right understanding of different degrees of higher understanding, that's why it cannot lead to the understanding of the truth because just thinking that it is tiring, it is not-self, that's not enough. So, no matter what we are talking about, just to understand the truth of what is there now, until then. But there can be talking about other things to understand the truth too, that no matter what we are talking about, it's not-self, it's only a moment of the experiencing, just arises to experience an object, that's all.

Is it so tiring, the development of the understanding of what is there, or talking about other things is more exciting? To understand what is meant by sacca, to be truthful, listening to the truth in order to experience and understand what is there as it is, as we have learned.

The truth cannot be known right now but when there is the understanding of pañña and paramis, it develops little by little by understanding what is the path: this moment of understanding that which is there appearing, little by little. So, we can talk about anything to understand what is there, even it's there now, it's not known yet, but one day, having heard a lot, it can condition moments of thinking about it or being aware of a characteristic which is there as a reality.